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My husband and I went camping this weekend for the first time in years…well to be totally honest we cheated a little, even though we were in the campground at Fundy Park we stayed in one of the parks permanent tents called an Otentik. It was a good compromise as we do not own a trailer and my body said no to sleeping on the ground in a tent lol. The Otentik was like a little cabin in the woods.
It was exciting to get back to the wilderness and enjoy a few days in the woods hiking and sitting around the campfire. During the weekend I had a big aha moment as I was doing the dishes from our breakfast. I realized how little we really need to be happy and enjoy life. EVERYTHING I needed to cook with, eat off of, drink from and clean with fit in one box. Yes, one box! I have a huge kitchen at home, with LOTS of stuff in it, but when push comes to shove I only really need ONE box of stuff to survive and be happy with. It was a clarity moment about how much stuff we surround ourselves with that we don’t actually need, and that the maintenance of that much stuff takes up valuable time to keep it clean, valuable space to house it and valuable brain power to think about it. Less stuff = more time for peace and fun!
When I was camping it was so easy to decide what pot to use as I only had two – one big and one little. It was easy to clean up after too, as we only had a few dishes that took us less than 10 minutes to clean – without a dishwasher too! It was great, and left a lot of time to relax by the fire, hike on the trails and visit with other campers.
So my challenge to you this week is to think about what you REALLY need to survive. Could reducing the amount of stuff surrounding you clear the way for you to have more time and space to enjoy your life? Does all that stuff you have actually make your life simpler or does it make it more complicated, cluttered and overwhelming?
Think about it! And if you are ready to tackle the excess and reduce what you own, come join my Facebook group where I share inspiration, motivation and information on living a clutter free life. There is a video in the group about my lesson learned on this trip, check it out:
Come connect with us today!
Kim
Kids toys can sometimes take over a space and you can feel that you live in a toy store after a hurricane goes through it. The important thing to remember when deciding on storage solutions for kids’ toys is that it has to be easy for the kids to put their things away. As a former preschool teacher I can tell you that having a dedicated spot for everything and making it easy for the kids to know where that spot is can reduce frustration, time and tears.
Cubbies and containers work well as long as they are well labelled and the containers are large enough to ‘throw’ things into. If the kids have to put all their stuff away in a secret order, like putting a puzzle together in order to get the lid to fit, they are doomed to fail. Look at any reputable daycare center and they are an Organizers DREAM- EVERYTHING has a place of its own and EVERYTHING is labelled, even the scissors have a special stand to go in. there is a reason for this, kids want and need easy to follow directions, they are empowered when they can do things on their own and by creating a space that makes this easy for them you give them power and self confidence. Much better than the constant nagging and occasional loud voices saying ‘this place is a pigsty, clean up your toys’
I am partial to large Rubbermaid containers with the raise lids, they allow the kids to throw their stuff in and the lid will still go on, they also stack nicely. I had several of these containers when the kids were young, for Barbie stuff, for dress up clothes, for blocks, for Hot wheels, for…well you get my drift. I encouraged my kids to only have one of these out at a time. If they were playing Barbies then the Barbie one is out. If they went on to another activity they were expected to clean up the Barbies, cleaning takes about 2 minutes as all they had to do it put it all in one big container, they did have a few smaller containers to hold the tiny little items like Barbie shoes and accessories but those never actually worked as it was too complicated to maintain.
Small cubbies work great as well as long as they are labelled or at least the containers on the cubbies are labelled. We had one that houses all my budding artists creative ‘stuff’. There are lots of different types of cubbies, ours is a metal mesh one that can be reconfigured as our needs change. We got that one at Costco. IKEA has some great ones as well and one of the best kept secrets to buying great kids toy storage solutions is any School Supply stores like Scholars Choice, they have fantastic stuff, as that is their business.
Remember to not be too hard on yourself or your kids, mess happens when they play and we should all embrace the mess DURING play time. By empowering them to be actively involved in the clean up phase you can make it fun and easy so it becomes a natural part of play. Go visit a daycare center and when it is time to clean up you will hear laughter, singing and cooperation. The kids love it almost as much as the playing itself.
Okay nobody likes talking about the end. But the reality is we are all human, we are all born and we all die. There is an end to your time here on earth in the body you currently have, in the life you are living, surrounded by the stuff you use. We don’t know when that end will come, it can be sooner than we expected or we can live a long time. But at this point we will not live forever.
Anyone that knows me knows, I am not afraid to talk about the hard stuff. I have seen too many families ignore the hard conversations while someone is alive, then they have to deal with making decisions after a loved one is gone while emotions are running high. I have seen families fight, split apart and hold grudges for YEARS all over ‘things’. It makes me sad. I want to shout IT IS JUST STUFF! But to them the stuff represents so much more.
I understand that the things represent more than the material matter they are made of. They represent the loss of a loved one, they represent control of a situation, they represent holding on, they represent feeling respected, they represent being connected and they represent thousands of other feelings and emotions too.
I implore you today, to think about who will be left after you are gone, what will be left after you are gone and how you can reduce family disharmony over your stuff before it happens.
Here are a few tips to get you started:
#1 TALK TO THEM – I know this sounds simple but it amazes me how many people cannot have this conversation. I know it can be hard, but if you have an open and honest conversation about what they may want, what you want them to have, who gets what…it can save a lot of heartache later.
#2 WRITE IT DOWN – Write letters to those that will be left behind, let them know in writing what your wishes are and lovingly ask them to respect and love each other through the hard times. Written words can be powerful!
#3 LABEL THINGS - Have labels on bigger things, so when your ‘stuff’ is being cleared out, they will know who gets what according to your wishes. Just don’t make them take stuff they do not want…make it their choice please, ask before you label!
#4 MAKE THEM PLAY – if siblings or other family members cannot come to an agreement over who gets what, leave them instructions that they must play a game to see who gets it. Rock, paper, scissors works well and can break the tension.
#5 DON’T HAVE A LOT OF STUFF – You know I had to add this one in, right? Living simplistically and reducing what you have now will make it so much easier for family to settle after. Less stuff, means less stuff to fight about.
The loss of a loved one is always an emotional time, it brings out the best and worst in us. Family disharmony is commom, too common for my liking. Setting the stage and opening communication early in life makes dealing with a sad loss so much easier. Encouraging our loved ones to support and work with each other during that sad time, instead of against each other, leaves a legacy of love and understanding that far outreaches the ‘STUFF’ left behind.
You are NOT your stuff…ensure today that your family know that!
Xox Kim
I just spend the weekend as one of the hosts for The National AGM for Business & Professional Women Canada here in my hometown of Moncton. It was a LOT of work but thanks to a great team we pulled off a successful weekend with lots of learning and fun. It would not have been nearly as successful if we had not worked as a team and all pulled together to get things done.
This got me to thinking about how we run our lives. So many of us tend to make ourselves responsible for everything, even when we have people around who could help if we just asked, expected and well a little training has to happen too.
You don't have to do it all. You do not have to be responsible for everything. You do not have to be the keeper of ALL information. It’s time to spread the fun and let others take over some of the overwhelm.
Asking for help, delegating tasks and letting others take on some responsibility is important so you don't burn yourself out. It is also important in developing others, allowing them to help you can help them feel respected and worthwhile. Who are you to deny them that.
I am not just talking at work here, I am talking in your life. Delegate tasks at home too. Hire a housekeeper to clean those toilets, get the family involved, teach them to do their own laundry, let others cook for you, let the mess in their rooms go - shut the doors and keep going, make them do the dishes, unload the dishwasher. It is amazing how capable our families are if we let them and expect them to help. The trick is to not expect them to do it your way. Done is better than perfect. Assign the task, give some general guidance if needed and let it go.
We do not have to do it all...Build your team and allow others to help you.
I could never have done all the work for this past weekend’s event without my team at home so I did not worry about a thing there and the amazing team of gals who help throughout the weekend. Together we are strong, together we can do more & together we have more fun too!
Who are the key players on your team? Is it time to add more team members? Is it time to ask for help?
If decluttering and getting organized is something you are looking for help with join my Clutter Support Group on facebook or as always contact me to set up a chat about how I can help you as your own personal clutter coach.
People often underestimate the toll that decluttering and downsizing can have on their emotions. Don’t be fooled into thinking that it is an easy task because others tell you it should be - ‘just let it go’, ‘just get rid of it’, they say. Well, I am here to tell you that it does not work that way. Even if you are ready and willing to let go of your stuff, even if you have made the decision that it is time to reduce what you own, even if you have a strong why and lots of excitement about what comes next in your life…even when you are totally prepared and ready to do it…It will still take an emotional toll on you as you go through the process. Some will be affected a lot more than others, but in my experience everyone has moments that their emotions get the better of them.
Going through your stuff piece by piece is a grueling task even for the seasoned ‘declutterer’. Knowing you have to downsize your stuff and making decision, after decision, after decision about what stays and what goes, adds up to a lot of emotional energy. At some point that energy can get depleted, emotions rubbed raw and reactions happen! Be patient with yourself and others as you go through this process, allow for some time to decompress when you feel the need. Allow the emotions to come, honour them, feel them and then deal with them the best you can.
Taking a break during the grueling process can help, taking a step away to regroup so you can prepare to keep going.
TRY:
- Going for a walk to get some fresh air
- Work out at the gym to burn off any excess stress
- Get out of the house and treat yourself to nice dinner out
- Take an evening off and watch some mindless TV – preferably a good comedy or feel good show.
- Connect with others- Come to our Clutter Support Facebook group to get some inspiration and support to keep you going www.ClutterSupportGroup.com
Our stuff has physical connections with our emotions - letting go, no matter how ready you are, will trigger some pain, regret and sadness. Be okay with that, be prepared for that, be real with that and keep moving forward with less!
Here to support you through the process,
Kim
