Are you starting to think about downsizing your space and now looking at all the stuff you have accumulated over the years? Are you thinking that your kids would just love to have all this extra stuff? Do you really want your legacy to be all the leftover clutter?
I work with lots of people who are in the downsizing process. During the process when clients are struggling with letting something go I often hear ‘ my kids might want that’ so things go into a massive pile of things for the kids. I have also dealt with a lot of homes of ‘the kids’ who have become their parents family landfill because they could not say no to mom or dad as they did not want to hurt their feelings.
One of the things I have learned over the year is that YOUR KIDS DON’T WANT ALL YOUR STUFF! Seriously, they really don’t. if you think your legacy is all the stuff you have collected and if you are saving everything for them, I am here to tell you today to stop…you are saving things that I can guarantee you your kids do not want. Maybe they want a few things, maybe they have some favorite memories about certain things, but when push comes to shove they do not want all that stuff in their space. It is just too much!
If your parents gave you all their stuff when they were done with it, and all their parents stuff. And all their parents stuff and oh how about all their parents stuff…would you want it? I am going to go out on a limb here and say NO! Maybe one item as a family memento but not ALL that stuff! It is just too much!
A great way to find out what your kids would like is…wait for it…by asking them – I know I’m soooo smart aren’t I? haha!
Ask them if they had to choose one or two favorite items what would they be? Put their name on this stuff for when you are ready to let it go if that time is not now.
Ask them is there is anything the need to make their life easier.
Ask them if they actually have room for the stuff they say they want.
But please do not put the burden on them to take all the stuff you don’t want because you cannot let it go otherwise. That is a lot of pressure on them and will quickly fill up their space with stuff they do not need or want. Do them a favor and only share stuff with them that they truly want and need.
PLEASE do not be offended when they do not want something...or if they say they don't want anything. Millennial's are especially interesting, as a lot are not attached to any thing and easily say no! it may feel like an insult but in actuality it is a great skill to have that will serve them in having a simplified life!
I know letting go of stuff is hard, and I know that giving it to a relative makes it feel like the stuff is not really gone. But filling up a loved one’s house with ‘stuff’ that they really don’t need, use or love is not doing them any favors. All that does is overwhelm them with clutter…something they will have to deal with eventually as well. Let that stuff go now, pay it forward and let someone who really could use it, need it and love it have it now. Don’t put that expectation on your kids to be that person…spread the wealth and spare your kids the burden! Make your legacy one of paying it forward instead of one of overwhelming your kids. Seriously, they don’t want all your stuff!
If you need some help figuring out what to do with all that stuff, check out my downsizing packages. I can help make the process easier and much less painful.
Happy Downsizing!
Kim
