Letting go of things you spent a lot of money on blog
How many of you have kept things because you spent a lot of money on them and you feel guilty or conflicted about letting it go?
old raw videoCan you top this price....This box of video files cost me over $100,000 and a good year or more of my life. It was way before you could grab your phone and just record. We created and produced several organizing videos from these raw videos. We hired professionals. We put everything into them. And then they never really sold.
organizers choice award 2008We lost a lot of money even though they were good and a bit funny. We even won an award for them. It just did not work.
Now I find this box in my closet with the remnants of this dream. I am sweating about actually letting this all go. Finally admitting I am never going to do anything with them. It’s been 12 years. Gulp! That’s a long time to hold onto a dead dream.
So today I look at all I learned from the experience. I am grateful for the people I worked with, the lessons learned and the fun that was had creating. I’m going to let go of the regret and let them go too. I’m going to free up space. Thanks for the experience, time to let go.
If you are struggling with letting go of things you spend a lot of money on, just remind yourself you are moving forward and not backwards.  You won't save any more money holding on to them, if anything they are costing you more the longer you keep them.
There may be tears in this process too. It’s okay. Feel the feelings and move on.

Selling Your Home

Are you overwhelmed with the thought of all that needs to be done to put your home on the market?  Maybe worried about getting enough out of your home for the next phase. 

Preparing to sell a house can be a big undertaking and we all want to get the maximum price we can.  We have spent the last few months getting ready to put our house on the market.  The sign is officially up and we are ready.  Preparing your house to sell can be broken down into steps and doesn’t have to be overwhelming with a plan.  Taking time to prepare will pay off in the end.

We have done this before, our last house we spent 6 weeks getting it ready and it sold in 24 hours for asking price!  This time around we have spent the last 6 months preparing to put it on the market (it is much bigger than our first house).  

Here are the steps to use to prepare your home for sale:

#1 DECLUTTER – there is no surprise there as it is the number one thing you can do to make your home feel clean and spacious.  Remove all excess stuff, reduce the amount of furniture in rooms and clear out those closets so they look like there is lots of room.  Ideally you donate or sell all those extra things you don’t need or use.  If you are planning to keep some of that stuff, temporarily you may need a small storage space to keep it for the next home.  But I challenge you to let go of as much excess as possible. We are preparing to downsizing so we have let go of a lot of stuff.  We have asked our kids what they want (and they wanted very little if anything) and we have donated van loads of things that will not be making the move with us.  it feels to let it all go!

#2 STAGE for the type of home you have - From my experience most people have a hard time visualizing being in your home so your goal with staging your space is to set the scene so they can actually see how they would live there. A family home needs to be inviting to kiddos whereas a condo in Toronto needs to look professional.

Your goal is to take people on a journey when they view your house. Think from beginning to end what people will see when they visit and how they will flow through your space. Go on that journey yourself and do your best to see it with new eyes. 

We have done some big ticket items that we had deemed necessary to make the feel of the place right - all new flooring on the main level and every room has had a fresh coat of paint.  and we have done some rearranging to make the space flow better.  Overall we are trying hard to look at it from someone elses perspective not our own.

#3 CLEAN – Clean everything, every nook and corner.  Hire a cleaner if you have to. People see a sparkling clean home as something that has been well looked after and cared for.  It goes a long way to getting your home sold. 

#4 MENTALLY LET GO – This one is a hard one but before you put that sign up and start letting people come through your home it is important to mentally let go and be ready to move.  Detaching as much as possible and thinking about the house being someone else’s is a great way to go into the selling process.  My thought as we get ready is that this house belongs to someone else now, it is just waiting to meet them.  It has been good to us but it is time for another family to fill the rooms with laughter and love. 

Realtors will give you a huge list of what you need to do to sell, that is their job.  The trick I believe is to do what you can – declutter, clean, stage the space as best you can.  Hire someone to help if you cannot get it done yourself, the investment in preparing before you put it on the marker will go a long way in getting the best value out of it.

The goal is to make it feel appealing to the potential next owner so you can move on to the next stage! We are ready!! Are you?

home for sale

Are you starting to think it’s time to downsize your home. Maybe monthly maintenance projects starting to creep up and you are worried about keeping up with the demands and cost.   The kids are all gone and a there is lots of unused space that holds memories and stuff but not people anymore. The stairs are starting to become a challenge to manoeuvre.

Imagine being in a space that fits your life today, with no unsused rooms, excess stuff and a space that is easy to maintain and keep up with.  Your time is back in your hands and you can spend it enjoying life.

I am at that stage now, the last of the kids moved out not long ago and my husband and I are bumbling around this big house wondering what comes next for us.  I watched my parents struggle holding on to their home with mounting maintenance cost, mobility issues as they got older and struggling to keep up with all the demands on them until they finally sold it…and LOVE living in their tiny cottage by the water now.  We have decided that we will make the downsizing move sooner rather than later.  We want to free up our time to travel and play between working and not wait till it becomes more of a burden.    

But how do you really know when it’s a good time to sell.

Here is 5 things to look at when deciding if you should sell your home

1. Is the Housing Market Good for the seller?  

One of the main reasons we have decided to sell is that the market in our city is pretty hot right now and homes are selling at a good price. When thinking about selling look at what you owe on the home, what the market is likely to support and do the cost analysis to see if it’s worth selling now.   Part of that financial analysis is to look at the cost of running your current home verses where you would go next. We have a 5 bedroom home with a large pool in the backyard that is virtually unused, the cost is high to maintain for so much that is not even used…it’s time to sell! My parents sold their home for a bit less than they may have been able to get if they held onto it for a bit longer…but the cost to upkeep it and do some needed maintenance had them deciding to sell for a lower cost but quicker sale. it was the right time for them.

2. Are you overwhelmed with the upkeep of the home?

A big house takes effort and time to maintain.  If you are finding it exhausting to try and keep up with the to do list and just don’t have the stamina to do it yourself anymore then it’s time to think about a change. 

3. Is your home an Empty Nest? 

A once bustling home can become a lonely place to be once  everyone is gone. Lots of seniors deal with depression and loneliness especially if they are living in a home that once help a busy family.  Think about how your home feels to you now and decide if it’s time for the next stage. When we made the decision to put the house on the market, it was a feeling that this house needs kids in it again, it’s a family home and we are grateful for all the wonderful time we have spent in it but it is time to pass it on to the next family.

4. Are you dealing with Physical limitations and issues? 

We don’t like to talk about the hard part of aging but the reality is that as we age our bodies do not always cooperate in keeping up with us.  Stairs get harder to climb, bathtubs get hard to manoeuvre, illness may happen making getting around a big house hard. If you are facing physical limitations  and finding getting around your space difficult, it might be time to find a place that supports you and your body now. One of my clients has difficulty with stairs, so living in a home that required her to do stairs everyday started to become an issue.  She is now happy living in an apartment with an elevator to get her up and down and no worries about having to do stairs.

5. Where will you go? 

You need to think about what comes next when you sell your house.  Are you looking at a smaller home, an apartment, moving to your cottage, assisted living spaces?  Think about what is next for you and what you really need and want if you are to move.  My husband and I know we are not ready for an apartment so are now looking at smaller easier to maintain homes as we no longer need 5 bedrooms and a pool.  My parents moved to their beloved cottage. Lots of my clients are now happy in apartments or condos with no worries about maintenance and the ability to go south for the winter if they want.  Think about what you want and need next, it makes the decision that much easier.

I know there is lots of people who would say staying in your home for as long as you can is best but I disagree with this blanket statement.  I believe that where you live has to support your life and who you are NOW.  It should be a place of peace and joy, not a source of stress and overwhelm. 

So take your time when making the decision to sell your home, think about the pros and cons and make the decisions based on what you want and need today. If I can help in any way let me know!



If you are ready to make the move to downsize and sell your home check out my book – Solving The Downsizing Dilemma for guidance along the way.  www.downsizingdilemma.com

moving through the heartache of dealing with a loved ones stuff 300x300The pain of losing a loved one is all consuming, it cuts right to the soul and breaks your heart.  The aftermath of losing a loved one is often hard for anyone to verbalize. Everyone deals with death differently.  From my experience you cannot predict how someone will react and get through it. There are no specific timelines, no specific route to getting through it and I can tell you that you NEVER get over it.  You can just learn to accept it and learn how to live your new normal without your loved ones physical presence.

When a loved one passes, they leave behind not only heartache but also ‘stuff’.  Their presence is felt in all the things that they used, all the clothes that they wore, all their precious mementos they collected.  Those left behind are then tasked with having to decided what to do with all the stuff left behind. I work regularly with people who have to go through their loved one’s possessions, it is a heartbreaking task but a necessary one to move forward. 

Although the task is not simple here are 8 tips to help you move through the heartache of releasing a loved one's stuff after they pass:

Wait if possible - Give yourself some time before you tackle this if possible.  Allow yourself the time to grieve the loved one and feel a little stronger before you take on this task, unless time is limited to settle the space.

Grieve as you go - As you go through the process you may feel like you are giving away a piece of your loved one with every possession you let go. This is normal and part of the whole grieving process. What is important during this time is to allow for the grieving to happen - cry, yell, whatever you need to do to let the emotions out.  Feel the feeling and then move on.

Honour their memory - Choose how you are going to honor the memory of your loved one with the stuff you do keep.  Keep only things that bring you joy when thinking of them. The reality is we cannot keep everything from everyone, so choose wisely what you will keep and ensure you honor their memory by honoring the possessions you keep.  Storing boxes and boxes of their stuff in an attic or basement does not honour their memory, choose to pay it forward and allow others to be blessed by the stuff, giving your loved one’s possession new life.

Take Pictures – If there are things that have great memories but you know you cannot keep, take a picture of the item to keep in a memory file.  Whenever you are missing your loved one, you can look at the pictures and remember the joy without having all the stuff take up space.

Share their stuff with others that loved them – Allow family and close friends to choose something if they want.  Once you have decided what you must keep, allow others that loved them to choose something that brings them joy and reminds them of your loved one.  Keeping the love alive and their memories cherished.

Release the rest to the Universe – it is not your job to distribute each and every item individually.  It is not your job to know where everything is going.  Send possessions off to Goodwill and allow the universe to get those possessions in the hands of those that most need them.  You do not have to do all the work! Send them with love and let them go.

Get Help – If this task is just to big and too much for you to tackle on your own then ask for help.  A trusted friend, family member or a professional.  Getting help can make the process quicker and easier than doing it alone.  Be honest about what you can handle on your own and ask for help when you decide you are not able to do it by yourself.  There is no shame in needing help during a difficult time. This help will need to be firm but loving to keep you moving.

BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF – there is no easy way to do this task.  Be patient and kind to yourself, take breaks when you need them and don’t forget to breathe as you go. 

You cannot keep everything of a loved ones.  That is the hard truth, but you can keep the memories.  Your memories of your loved ones are yours to keep.  No one can take those from you.  Remember the joy, remember the fun, remember the love.    

If you feel you cannot do this alone, I would be honoured to help you through this process.  Come join our Support Group or contact us for one on one care. With gentle guidance and support we can move you forward through this difficult task. 

Honouring you and your loved ones,

Kim xox



I have been working with a client who lost her husband 2 years ago. The pain of missing him is strong but the need to let go of some of his stuff is now critical as she has moved to an apartment. As we go through this process together my job is to support her as she goes through the heartache and grief, allowing her to feel the feelings then let go.

We are creating a memory trunk of the stuff she keeps, it will be a place to keep possession that honour his memory for her and his kids. It has a defined space which allows her to make decisions based on what really deserves to be in that trunk.

We cannot keep ALL our loved ones possessions...we just can't! That is the cold hard truth.

Imagine if you had to keep everything that belonged to every person in your family that is now gone - parents, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc...it would be too much, overwhelming and in the end all that stuff would block you from living in the now and moving forward...there would be no room for you!

Keep a few things, keep the memories, keep the love. The rest is just stuff!

xox Kim