Release the venom of toxic people so you can live in peace and joyThis week I have had many conversations with people about relationships and toxic people.  It seems to be a theme, so I feel it is time to chat about it. 

What is a toxic person to you? I know for many they would define them as people who are judgemental, mean and angry. My daughter said to her they are people who treat others unfairly and are unethical...and boy does it ever piss her off. 

For me toxic is someone who triggers an unwanted and undesirable reaction in me.  Just the word 'toxic'  indicates that it is about my reaction.  Like a toxic substance can poison us, we allow toxic people to poison us and cause damage.

Here is the thing about toxic people, the problem is not about them.  It really isn't.  The problem is our reaction the them. You see, we cannot control other peoples behaviours. We have not walked in their shoes. We have no real idea what is happening in their life. We don't have the same experiences they have so we cannot know where their beliefs, emotions and behaviours come from or why they are the way they are. They are just themselves- and only our perception makes that good or bad!  Our experiences, beliefs and emotions place judgement on them and triggers our reaction.

The only thing we have control over is our own reactions and believe it or not we have a choice in those reactions. I don't think it is possible to avoid 'toxic people' all the time, and it makes me sad to think of the people who hide from the world trying to avoid them because they do not know how to release and change their reaction to them. We are going to change that today!

Today as I discussed this issue with my daughter I encouraged her to think about her reaction to these toxic people, instead of just their behaviour. The conversation came around to her physical reaction. How she was tense, angry, and growling...yes growling.  I swear she would bite my head off when she is triggered.  Paying attention to your own reactions, thoughts and digging to see what beliefs are behind them, brings the core beliefs to the surface. From unconscious behaviour to conscious awareness. Once we are aware we can start the process of change!

So what can we do to release these toxic people from our lives.  First thing is to neutralize the toxin.  Releasing the beliefs and emotions you are carrying towards these people can release the hold they have on your emotions and your life.  Think about someone who you consider toxic...what pisses you off about them?  what do they say or do that annoys you?  really dig, why does this piss you off?  what's the worst thing about that? What beliefs are you holding onto that are causing these reactions? What lessons are you learning? Write this all down if you need to, be honest, be brave and be real here...stay with the I and me statements.  I feel pissed because, I am hurt, I blah blah blah...NO THEY in this, remember this is about you not about them. They do not MAKE you do or feel anything, your reaction to them or a situation does.  That is what we are after here...IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU!

Triggers can change as you grow and learn as well. Have you ever noticed that as you grow and change, the people you hang with seem to change too and the things that piss you off change?  The people who you used to love hanging with have suddenly become 'toxic people' and start to piss you off.  Here's the thing...they have not changed (that's the problem) have.  As we raise our vibration, our knowledge and our inner connection change and our frequency changes.  Which causes it to clash sometime with those around us who are not growing and changing with us.  Does this make them bad people?  No!  It makes them...well themselves. On their own path, which may mean a different path than ours.  and guess what?  that is okay! 

From here listen to Releasing the venom of toxic people Theta Healing Meditation and see those beliefs and triggers melt away.  You may have many layers of triggers, so you may need to redo this  meditation several times to get to the bottom core.  But it can be done, you can take back the controls, you can bring peace back to your inner you no matter who is around and you can allow those that no longer vibe with you to be release to their own journey.  Releasing them with unconditional love, with peace, with joy and with ease!

Love from me to you- Kim